The Stoltzfus Scuffle

Have you heard of the big brouhaha in Lancaster, Pa?

It seems that a small baker selling his goods at the Lancaster Central Market has produced what one Democratic Party politician considers an affront to public decorum. His crime? He has hung a picture of the President of the United States in his stall. Oh, the horror!

City Councilman Nelson Polite is demanding that David Stolzfus, the, proprietor of the Upper Crust, remove the two year old display because the majority of his constituents didn’t vote for George Bush and a few of his constituents have found the photo and the election results painful. This paragon of public service argues that since the City Market is publicly funded, no photos of a “divisive” or “uncomfortable” nature should be allowed. In the spirit of public protection, the Councilman has threatened to introduce legislation at the next City Council meeting that would ban all political items on city property. Thankfully, and to the credit of Mr. Stoltzfus’ stall mates including some Democrats, other vendors have begun to hang their own photos of President Bush in solidarity.

Leaving aside the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States for the moment, I would have thought with Lancaster’s city crime index 57% above the national average and an unemployment rate hovering around 6%, the good Councilman would have found better windmills with which to tilt, but perhaps not. After all, what is more pressing in America today than the political discomfort of the minority?

Since the election, major newspapers such a the vaunted New York Times and the venerable Washington Post have offered story after story of disappointed voters seeking help for their newly discovered and diagnosed disease — Post Electoral Stress Trauma or P.E.S.T for short. Psychiatrists from Boca Raton, Fl. to Marin County, Ca. have found their offices inundated with the afflicted. Anti depressant pill prescriptions are soaring, work efficiency is suffering and tears cover the blue state landscape.

To be fair, I am sure that this national epidemic was on the mind of Councilman Polite when he started this latest kerfuffle, but am I the only person in America who wonders how this jackass got elected? Does anyone question that his bid for reelection might be fraught with some difficulty?

The Democratic Party is now in search of the reasons for their latest defeat. While they busy themselves with religious dictionaries and disappointing demographic research, I offer them another hint.

If they are truly serious in their quest to reconnect with the American people, they could start by quietly requesting their more lunatic fringe, exemplified by the likes of Councilman Polite, simply stand up for American’s civil liberties instead of trying to reformat them to make their party members more “comfortable”. They could tell their more vociferous and distraught party regulars that discomfort is a fact of life and that most American’s hold little tolerance for sore losers.